


Consequences

by Quiet_Shadow



Series: Love Them, Sooth Them [2]
Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Gen, Nightmares, References to Non Consensual Breastfeeding, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 07:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quiet_Shadow/pseuds/Quiet_Shadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Optimus has an hard time dealing with what Lockdown did to him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Little ficlet directly following 'Soothing the Pain', where Optimus try to deal with what happened to him on Lockdown's ship.  
> Just a little something to read until I finish the next part of this series ;)  
> Enjoy!

Lockdown’s actions were not without consequences.

Physically, Optimus healed without any problem. Mentally… Mentally, it wasn’t so easy. Time and time again, Optimus shot out of recharge, vents overworking as he got caught up in a replaying of his memory files. In his dreams, he would still feel Lockdown’s sharp dental plates as they grabbed his nubs, nibbles playfully or angrily at his pouches. He could still feel the sharpness of his hook toying with sensitive wires, puncturing the lines and the linen of the pouches in an attempt to coerce his reluctant captive into filling them, cooing at him as he watched them fill with enriched liquid.

Most horrifying for the Autobot was the realization, when he woke up, that his pouches were indeed half-filled up and still expanding with the quiet flow of liquid mineral supplements; so caught up in his dreams and their vivacity, he had unconsciously transmitted the silent command for the activation of his feeding lines.  
It was shameful, and he almost keened in distress as each time, he grabbed some rags to clean up any strains and watched his pouches emptying and his chestplates closing with conflicting emotions.

Optimus Prime wasn’t exactly blind about what happened in his team; he never had been. He had know for a long time Ratchet nursed Bulkhead when they had enough energon (usually, when they finished repairing a Space Bridge and received a small shipment as payment for their troubles; repair bots weren’t exactly malnourished, but it had always been clear they weren’t top priority when it came to the rationing of the fuel practiced by the Elite Guard).

He had also noticed immediately when Bumblebee had started taking some as well and in a way, he had felt grateful for Ratchet’s actions toward the yellow bot. Bumblebee was so, so much younger than them all (no matter how much he liked to pretend he wasn’t some ignorant youngling), but also trying so hard to play the adult, mature bot it was almost painful to watch. Being fed out of Ratchet’s lines was a small comfort, but one he really needed and truly enjoyed, if one had to guess by his happy attitude afterward each time Ratchet did feed him.

Prowl… Well, Prowl was a whole different matter. He wasn’t one who actively sought out to be feed from another mech’s own lines, but Optimus thought that sometimes, the ninjabot should have.

Anyway, it was always their medic who took charge when it came to feed their crew. But Ratchet couldn’t pass all his time feeding them; the medic certainly produced a lot of enriched energon, if he could sustain Bulkhead, but giving so much must have been tiring for his systems.

So at some point, Optimus had thought he could feed his younger teammates, just as Ratchet did; he had almost no previous experience in the matter (the two, three times he did were done long before he started attending the Academy, for much younger distant-relatives and sparklings abounding in his neighborhood), but he knew how to feed a mech and could do this for his team… his friends. Or at least he had thought so.

He had actually looked forward to propositioning them. It would have been a nice, safe way to reinforce the friendship and care burgeoning between the five of them. Nothing like being stranded on an alien planet to make you realize how precious the mechs you lived with were.

He had already pictured the joy of Bulkhead, the mischief of Bumblebee, the calm, collected look of Prowl, and Ratchet’s grudging approval, for it would be a weight less on his chassis. He had imagined the reclining of his body, with the weight of his team members against his frame as he held them safe and close, letting them enjoy this proof of his trust and devotion to them.

And now… Now… After Lockdown… After that… slagger used him in such a way, he didn’t think he would be able to bare himself and support the contact of anyone’s mouth on him without totally lost it.

And for that, Optimus thought he could only weep.


End file.
